Couples
No one truly wants to be alone. Being single has a perk of making all your own choices, but then there's no one to share the blame. Making choices with someone else, shares the weight of the responsibility of that choice, but there are two opinions, ideas, values and desires that are now weighing in. Now what do you do? Often this simply leads itself to 2 individuals choosing to make choices independently. When those choices interfere or complicate the other person's life, then it becomes a fight. How did we go from longing to be in a life with someone to then choosing to make choices alone again? You're not being understood ....
The philosophy at ReDefine better that conflict is simply is that the opportunity to learn what the other person values. What is important to them? Viewing conflict this way is more of a detective-type questionnaire rather than a desire to be right. This mindset changes from both sides proving their point and swaying one party to agree with the other party and moves into a space where simply what is important to each person is uncovered. Often times we assume and make choices moving forward from those assumptions rather than truths.
Andrew is married to his wife Melissa, and knows the intense discipline it takes to live this way. It is very hard when you are emotionally invested, you're angry and upset, you're just having a rough day outside of the two of you and "dealing with" yet another human being is exhausting and brings little joy and satisfaction. When you've always done it a certain way, and its fine and it works, it takes extra effort to stop your mind from continuing on, and to set aside what you think and what you want and just listen to the person you love. Andrew does more than just listen to her words, he listens for her why and what's in her heart and soul that drives the choices she makes. When this simple method is applied to a couple, their whole world can change. It doesn't mean that all the problems are solved and they go away, but rather that there is a system that can be used to think thru and talk thru the rest of their lives together.